Well, look here. The Leaf is being paid a visit...
...by the Sand Village's Kazekage, Gaara.
Huh? Something about him seems off, though.
Do you folks out there in TV land see what's different?
What's with Gaara today?
He hasn't said a word.
Wait, look, the character on his forehead!
It's not "love."
It changed to "romance!"
Gaara's First Crush
What's gotten into Gaara?
Maybe he's just changing his look?
Or maybe it's...
There's no maybe about it.
It couldn't be more obvious.
Gaara's got a crush on someone!
But on whom?
If he's here, it must be someone from our village, right?
Maybe Sakura?
If that's the case, he's now my rival in love, too.
And when you add Naruto,
we've got one messy love rectangle.
Oh no! What if the powers don't believe...
...a hot-blooded ninja gag anime can get popular,
and they're trying to change the genre into a trendy love story?!
In the Name of Love - Tokyo Lovin' 101 A Summer's Tale
Episode 1 A Meeting and Reunion?
Kanchi
Sekiguchi
Mikami
I never watch romantic dramas, so I have no idea what to say!
If you'd just let me play a man for once!
They're late. What's taking so long?
Ah, this guy and his disguises again.
Why are you dressed as Gaara?
Isn't it obvious?
Lee and his little pals have to tread carefully around the Kazekage.
And the moment they leave themselves open, I'll rip them to shreds!
Ah, I see.
And since Gaara's naturally taciturn anyway,
there's nothing suspicious about you not talking.
They've been gone a long time, though.
What could they be doing?
Could they have seen through my disguise?!
Gaara Love Assistance Planning HQ
Well, if it's not Sakura...
Believe it or not, it could be Tenten.
Me?!
Oh jeez, this is so sudden!
Or maybe Hinata?
O-Over my dead body!
What about Lady Tsunade?
Pretty big age gap there...
Wait, I've got it!
I bet Gaara fell in love that other time!
Other time?
Remember the summer barbecue?
Oh, the one Guy Sensei did?
He must've thought Neji in drag was an actual girl,
and fell head over heels!
Me?!
Why Neji?!
Why would he fall for a guy in drag over of a real girl like me?!
Look, this is the Kazekage.
If we're not careful, we'll end up causing an diplomatic crisis with the Hidden Sand village.
We need to tread carefully, and send Neji in.
What?
Go on, Nejie!
Um... L-Lord Gaara...
I-I know we don't know each other very well,
so let's try to be friends first, okay?
We'll start with some group dates!
Why are we here, too?
I guarantee you Gaara's never been on a date.
There's much less pressure when you're on a double date with friends.
Why do we even need a date?
He should've just been honest with Gaara and turned him down.
No, a man's heart is very fragile.
A flat-out "no thanks" would crush him.
Then how do we get out of this?
Do you know why I picked this park?
Perhaps it's the curse of the lake's spirit,
or a jealous goddess green with envy.
Either way, the lake is jinxed.
Any couple who rides a boat across it is guaranteed to break up!
And we're relying on this jinx?
Yes.
How did things end up like this?
He's got the wrong character on his forehead!
He just now noticed?
That's step one.
Next, we have a takoyaki snack!
Takoyaki?
Why?
So you get lots of seaweed stuck in your teeth,
in a hilarious manner.
Why?!
To make yourself unattractive so that Gaara will initiate the breakup.
Don't do it...
I mean... please...
Get it all over your teeth!
And now the nose hairs!
Hang in there, Neji...
Why me?
What am I supposed to say?
That's the spirit.
Now seal the deal. Rip a huge fart!
On command?!
All right, I'll handle this one.
Nejie, you should be ashamed!
That's very unladylike!
Why? Why me?
It's awful. The smell, and the acting.
I don't know how to react...
I didn't think very far ahead when I put on this getup,
I don't have a good grasp of his character.
How would he react?
Lord Orochimaru.
Kabuto?
You put the wrong character on your forehead,
and they misinterpreted it.
It's wrong?
Let's go, Gaara.
Um, I...
What character was it again?
Oh... uh...
"Odd?"
It's not "romance" anymore?
That means...
Okay, don't move!
Wh-What?
Odd-Ball.
Please, no more...
Lord Orochimaru, it's still wrong!
It is?
If it's not "romance" or "odd," then...
Forget
This is no time for a memory lapse!
That's way too far off!
The first one was closer!
You know, not romance, but deeper!
Deeper, you say?
I didn't mean "fish!"
What are you, the menu at a sushi joint?
Specifically, that's "tuna."
Got a craving for tuna?
We should get sushi afterwards.
Your treat, Gaara!
Kabuto!
Come on, don't make me say it!
It's that feeling. It makes your heart pound...
Desire that makes your heart pound...
Sex
Sex?!
Sex now?!
Like the Sexy Jutsu?
Wow, on the first date?!
Please, anything but that...
No turning back now, Neji!
N-No...
No!
Sexy Jutsu!
You getting excited doesn't help me!
I-It's not sex.
It's more important, more dear to the heart!
Important? Dear?
Grandchild
Grandkids?!
You're not even married yet.
Wrong again?
That's much sweeter, but it's still the wrong character.
Here we are!
So cute!
How about this one?
Here, hold him.
I'm in hell.
Don't try this at home, kids.
Hey, maybe this means the plan is working, in a sense.
Those idiots are doing whatever Lord Orochimaru's forehead says.
Now's our chance.
Indeed, I'll use my forehead to control Lee and...
...his pals like puppets on a string!
My true goal is to rip Lee to shreds.
Then I'll pound Naruto to a pulp,
and maybe turn that Sakura girl into my servant.
After that I'll shave the heads on Mount Hokage,
conquer the Hidden Leaf and turn it into the Hidden Snake!
Now how do I express all that in a single character?
It's utterly impossible!
Lord Orochimaru, I've got an idea.
Don't you love our grandkids, Grandma?
Sure do, Grampy.
No more grandkids!
This is my true heart's desire!
It's some kind of encoded cipher text!
We have to decipher it.
Neji!
Byakugan!
My true goal is to rip Lee to shreds.
Then I'll pound Naruto to a pulp,
and maybe turn that Sakura girl into my servant.
After that I'll shave the heads on Mount Hokage,
conquer the Hidden Leaf and turn it into the Hidden Snake!
You're Orochimaru, aren't you?
O-Oh no!
Retreat!
Thank God...
There's no substitute for "love!"
Our story begins with a wrapped present.
Another beautiful morning!
What's this?
To Lee, from Sakura Haruno.
A p-present from Sakura?!
Lee has yet to realize this will be the beginning of a terrible catastrophe.
A Gift From Orochimaru
This is...
The latest model training gauge!
This is an amazing piece of technology!
Just wear it while you train, and afterwards,
it tells you how much you've improved!
Sakura has such amazing taste!
Lee, let's train together!
Okay, Sakura!
You're good, Sakura, but I won't lose!
Death/Life
It's like Sakura's watching me. I'll be unstoppable now!
Hey, Bushy-Brows!
Training hard again today?
Thank you so much, Sakura.
I'm already putting your gift to good use!
Gift? What gift?
She's never given me any presents!
There's no way you'd get one first!
W-Wait, then who...?
Me.
Orochimaru! You again?!
Uh oh, you'd better not stop.
It'll be bad for your health if you stop training now.
Wh-What're you talking about?
That gauge is rigged to explode if you stop training.
Explode?!
Death/Life
You sealed your fate when you began working out.
The moment you stop, it will blow!
Try to take it off, it will blow.
In other words, you'll have to keep training until you die!
RIP Lee
Wh-What?!
You love to train so much,
it's only natural you die doing it.
Oh no...
Don't stop! Keep exercising!
Let's get help!
Right!
He planted a bomb on Lee?
What's with the sunglasses?
These? They're a present from Tenten.
Huh? I didn't get you any presents.
What's with that hat?
You got it for me, remember?
Why would I get you something like that?
Then who...?
They're both from me!
Him again?
That hat's really a bomb rigged with chakra that reacts to punchlines.
Chakra that reacts to punchlines?
Overreact to any jokes,
and it'll trigger the explosive tag inside.
Of course, if you try to take it off, it'll blow as well, be careful!
What kinda chakra is that?
Forget the chak―
Don't! If you say a punchline, you'll blow up!
He got Tenten, too...
Tenten's punchlines have been sealed.
No way...
Then these sunglasses―
A bomb rigged with chakra that reacts to cross-dressing.
C-Cross-dressing chakra?!
Chakra can do anything, huh.
Slip into a dress, or try to take them off,
and the explosive tags will ignite.
Not Neji's cross-dressing, too!
It doesn't matter if I can't cross-dress!
We'll see about that.
The two of you and Lee will all be blasted to bits!
That monster.
How dare he keep Neji from cross-dressing?
Or Tenten from overreacting?
What do we do now?
Forget them. Your body giving out is the most pressing concern.
Don't worry about me.
At this rate I can train for a week straight.
Forget it, even if you can handle it,
just watching you is making us exhausted!
We'll just have to keep Lee out of the shot as much as possible.
Mr. Cameraman!
Next I'll do 10,000 pull-ups!
Now's our chance. Let's think of a way to defuse the bomb.
How can we do that when Lee's flying all over the place?
The bomb will blow if he stops training,
but there are different ways to train.
That's true.
He doesn't necessarily have to wear himself out like―
Shut up!
Sorry, I'll train quietly.
Yeah, and there are ways to train while staying still.
Like flower arrangement.
Perfect!
Flower arrangement will conserve Lee's stamina,
and give us a shot at defusing the bomb.
It's no use!
One, two, one, two, one, two!
Shoot!
Okay, what if he pops this bubble wrap?
How is that training?!
It's no use!
One, two, one, two, one, two!
How about this?
What's that?
He can lick this jawbreaker until it's completely gone, without biting!
That's so boring!
It's no use!
Well, duh!
She's mad.
I bet she wanted to deliver the punchline herself.
N-No, it doesn't bother me.
It's just, Neji's delivery was a little... weak.
Y-You think I'm not a good straight man?
Well, it definitely needed a little more punch.
And you normally set up the jokes.
I do?!
I'm innately a stooge?!
Don't get so down...
All right, how about I handle the punchlines in Tenten's place?
Mr. Narrator?
Don't worry, I may not look it,
but I was part of a stand-up comedy team once.
Punchlines were my specialty.
Really? I never would've guessed!
Yes, it was about twenty years ago.
We performed under the name "Caltrop & Trip,"
and were the best in the world at what we did.
But fame is fleeting, and eventually the boom died and we couldn't get work.
So, we went our separate ways.
My set-up man found success as a solo act,
and myself...
I quit show business and tried...
...opening up a Korean barbecue in Shinbashi,
but it didn't work out.
Then I tried running a bed and breakfast in Okinawa, but that failed, too.
And finally I took this narrator job, and now I find myself―
You're supposed to deliver the punchlines, not spout―
Whoa, stop!
Lee, the bomb!
R-Right!
Get serious! Was any of that even true?
I'm so sorry. I got carried away and started making things up...
We need to defuse Bushy-Brows' bomb, and fast.
But how?
You can do it, Neji.
Remember that movie we all watched the other day?
"Charleston's Angels," where the three beautiful spies...
...defused a bomb in Area 51 and saved the world from destruction?
Charleston's Angels
Oh yeah, do it like the movie!
The red explosive tag, or the blue one...
Which do I pull?
Wait, I can't cross-dress!
Then what about that anime we were watching?
You know, where the supermodel idol unit stumbles...
...upon a bomb in a space station's bathroom?
Oh, like in that one anime.
The red explosive tag, or the blue one...
And so on.
What'd I just say?
I can't cross-dress or I'll blow up!
What're we gonna do?!
We're screwed.
Maybe you could defuse the bomb without cross-dressing?
Or wouldn't it be faster to just use your...
...Byakugan to figure out how to dismantle the bomb?
I-I guess so...
I'm counting on you, Neji.
Byakugan!
It's no good, the sunglasses are too dark!
There's no point in seeing clearly if you blow up!
Tenten, no punchlines!
They're gonna blow!
I'm so stupid!
Gotcha!
Lee and his ninja pals will be blown to smithereens!
Huh?
Lord Orochimaru!
I got my hands on a ton of explosive tags!
Now we can finish the bombs!
W-Wait a second...
Then the bombs were never inside the gifts in the first place?
That's right. Why do you ask?
Lee, Neji, and Tenten exploded with anger,
and they rigged the pair with a bomb that will explode...
...the moment he thinks of another stupid plan.
Next week is "The Green Flame, Dodge Lee!"
The Green Flame, Dodge Lee The Yes-Man Says No
and "The Yes-Man Says No!"
Apparently we're playing a bunch of ball games!
I'll just make a bunch of clones and win with superior numbers!
Neji will knock them all away with his Air Palm!
Not if I use the Rasengan, too!
Tenten will summon a bunch of weapons and knock them all away, and we'll win!
It's a ball game, not a ninjutsu battle!